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Dr. Patricia Allen's jam-packed seminars in Los Angeles have resulted in over two thousand marriages. Now you too can take advantage of this proven step-by-step program.

Here's what you'll learn:

• How to attract the right man
• When you should make the first move...and when you should not
• Why equality in a relationship may not be what you're looking for
• Why sex before commitment is a bad deal
• How to have sensational sex
• What makes a man run away from a relationship
• How to know when you're giving too much
• How to get what you want without asking
• What makes a man want to commit
• How to BE ENGAGED TO THE RIGHT MAN WITHIN A YEAR!

• Sales Rank: #12790 in Books
• Color: Paperback,
• Published on: 1995-02-01
• Released on: 1995-02-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.00" h x .61" w x 5.25" l, .50 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Psychotherapist Allen offers advice on ways to cultivate long-term relationships.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review
"Move over, Dr. Ruth!"-- "Los Angeles Magazine"Just what cupid ordered!"-- "Beverly Hills Today"The woman's movement brought us independence, but it did not bring us love."-- Dr. Patricia Allen

Most helpful customer reviews

79 of 79 people found the following review helpful.
Love it or hate it, it's the plain truth is you want to get married and actually BE happy!
By suzereviews
This book has been the 'magic key' I had been desperately searching for in a pile of self-help books and hours of therapy. For the past 2 years I had been obsessively trying to figure out 'what was wrong with me' (and him) that caused our really wonderful, fulfilling relationship to deteriorate into a devastating mess and failure.

Our relationship failure didn't look, sound or feel like any of our friends' relationship failures. Theirs were obvious: cheating, alcoholism and marrying for reasons other than love in the first place were some of the 'normal' and understandable reasons to end a marriage or relationship. Ours was not like that. We had all the right elements: incredible physical chemistry, humor, affection, mental compatibility, emotional compatibility, similar values spiritually and socially, you name it, we had it. We enjoyed doing many of the same things, we enjoyed one another's company and there was no cheating of any sort. So what on earth happened to us? Losing that relationship when it had so many wonderful elements was absolutely the worst pain I have ever experienced, and I knew I had to dig deep and figure out how it happened because if I didn't, I wouldn't survive the pain again. Since I am not the type to turn bitter and just buy a cat, I delved into the bottomless pit of the 'why's...until I finally found the answer in this book.

The basic premise is really simple: There MUST be a 'masculine energy' person (who gives, protects, and is RESPECTED) and a 'feminine energy person' (who 'gives back', receives joyously and is CHERISHED) in order for the relationship to work. If you both want to be in charge, you will fight for the masculine position. If you both want to have your feelings cherished as your top priority, you will fight for the feminine position. If you must be BOTH respected for your mind and want to lead AND insist on having your feelings cherished--that is the epitome of NARCISSISM, and Dr. Allen believes you will be UNABLE TO MATE SUCCESSFULLY. I agree with her. You must ultimately choose between the two energies or live alone.

So many reviewers seem to have missed the point of the book by having their feathers ruffled by the concept of submission to the male that they also missed the hundreds of times she reiterates that you can CHOOSE which energy to be, and you can also NEGOTIATE with your mate after the relationship is established for role reversals in areas that both of you agree to. She is NOT in any way suggesting that we as women should suppress our minds or needs or feelings in deference to the male. We can and should express our FEELINGS to our masculine mate. As the man, he should express his THOUGHTS to his feminine woman, and ASK HER HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THEM. Dr. Allen teaches us how to do this so as to actually get our needs met. The male MUST cherish the female's feelings above his own, and HE MUST DO THIS FIRST because a woman will be UNABLE to feel safe submitting to him and UNABLE to show respect for a man who has not FIRST shown her she is safe to do so. If a woman loves her man more than she loves herself (my problem) he will use and abuse her because she allows it.

Of course, the more frustrated and 'uncherished' I felt, the more resentful and angry I became, not understanding that I would never be able to give him enough love, generosity, effort or sacrifice to get him to meet my needs. What I was doing SEEMED to me to be feminine and loving, but it turns out those things were actually the masculine trait of selflessly giving. No wonder I didn't like being in that role! A successful relationship is like a battery: there needs to be a positive giver (male) and a negative receiver (female) in order for there to be a 'charge' or connection. It won't matter how hard you try, because without both ends of the battery, you will never get a darn thing from it.

This was the problem in my relationship. My boyfriend, who appeared very cherishing, giving and protecting at first, gradually slipped into his more feminine self and revealed what he was to me: a narcissist who would not give OR give back. He needed to have BOTH energies (my respect and also my cherishing) being given to him. I did it as long as I could, but despite the fact that we had all this 'wonderfulness' and commonality, he simply couldn't take the full masculine role I needed him to, and he left. Of course this left me absolutely AGONIZING over what more I could have done (actually, as Dr. Allen points out, I needed to do much LESS) to save our relationship.

I really must express my deep relief and gratitude for this book. I am naturally a feminine energy person, and instinctively behave in feminine ways so I got a lot of it 'right'. But when it came to asking for things I wanted or needed, I did it completely WRONG and was totally baffled as to why my asking was met with such resistance. Men take requests as attempts at control, even when they aren't. Dr. Allen shows us a better way.

I needed HONEST ANSWERS about what causes relationships to fail or succeed, and how to get my needs met by my man, and also meet his. She also showed me that what I thought a man wanted was not the case at all. I am so glad I now know this information. Thank you Dr. Allen. I am certain you have saved me from another round of hideous pain.

156 of 168 people found the following review helpful.
Life Changing
By Shannon
I'm what you call a serial monogamist. I have always had boyfriends. Some for a year, two years, etc. I have a great social life, I am successful and very attractive. I have never had a problem meeting, dating or having long and honest relationships with men. But, something happened in my late 20's. There I was, 27, single (for a minute), living in New York, working in the fashion industry and my clock went off-I wanted to find a partner for life, I wanted to find my husband. Now, this was very different than having a boyfriend, this was the big leagues. I didn't have any clue how I needed to go about this.

"Getting to I Do" catalogued various relationship scenarios, where the authors pointed out what worked and what didn't. I have to be honest, being a self-supportive "modern woman", I at first thought that the simplistic illustrations of male/female dynamics were really old-fashioned and that I might as well just talk it out with my grandmother. But, the book went way beyond just designating roles. For me it helped me to embrace the woman I was and to understand the relationship dynamic I wanted to have.

The book is terrific. I read it and applied it to my next relationship-someone I fell in love with and wanted to marry. I went through the "phases" as stated in the book and when it got down to the "negotiation" phase, my boyfriend wanted to move to France, with me. Great! But, not without an engagement. Turns out he was not ready to be married. It was a very painful to think about being without him. To have my dreams of being married to him dissolve. Fortunaltely, I had learned that I would be putting myself through so much more pain and anguish if I had up-rooted my life without any commitment other than being a great boyfriend. So, I let him go.

Thanks to "Getting to I Do", painful decisions became easy to navigate because I knew I wanted to find the person who wanted to commit to me, who would not stand to see me go without the emotional commitment I needed. Two years, and couple of boyfriends later, at age 34, I have found the man of my dreams and we are getting married in Septmeber.

"Getting to I Do" has tought me to never compromise my feelings and that you don't have to argue in order to communicate. I am really thankful and grateful that I recieved this book, it has been a blessing!!!

89 of 100 people found the following review helpful.
Not completely idiotic
By L O'connor
I usually totally despise self-help books of the 'how to get a man and keep him' type, but this one, although like most self-help books pretty silly, does contain some quite sensible advice.

Dr. Allen's theory is that everyone is either a 'feminine energy' person or a 'masculine energy' person. The masculine eneergy personis the leader who cherishes his mate, the feminine energy person is the follower who respects her leader. Dr. Allen doesn't think it matters whether the man or the woman is the leader or the follower (this makes her more flexible than the authors of most such books), but she maintains that you must have one of each, she doesn't think 'equal' relationships can work.

If you decided to be the 'feminine energy' woman (as she thinks most women will probably want to be) you let the man make the running, make the decisions (so long as they are not unethical, immoral, or something that can harm you or your children), and accept what he gives you graciously (that includes accepting things you might not particularly care for, like unwanted advice). You always give back less than you take, because a feminine energy woman must love herself more than her man.

One of her theories is that men want to marry virtupous women, so you must not sleep with a man until he has 'committed' to you, if you want to marry him. I don't know how true this is generally, but it certainly wasn't true in my own case, I slept with all the men I went out with before they'd 'committed' to me, but nevertheless some of them did want to marry me.

The part of this book I enjoyed the most is the chapter called 'Finding the Toad in every Prince' in which she describes how you cope when you discover the things about your prospective mate that you don't like. she says "There is a prince in every toad and a toad in every prince. But does someone fall in love with the prince part of a person? No way. They fall in love with the toad part. It's the idiosyncracies and weirdness that really endears someone to you, the part that makes you say "Oh, that's just him" and you love him anyway.

I tell women if they are still waiting for the perfect man - mentally, physically and emotionally he's not coming.

I feel that if you get someone who is 51 percent or better, keep him. That is to say, if you like more about the person than you don't, then go for it. Because odds are that if you don't, and you go out looking for a better deal elsewhere, you could end up with someone who is only 49% or worse."

I thought this was very sensible advice. One of the things I like about this book, is that Pat allen does not recommend a woman making herself into a doormat, or behaving as if only what the man wants matters, she believes that a naturally 'masculine energy' man will want to keep his wife happy and give her what she wants.

Not everything in this book made sense to me, but I did think some of the advice was quite sensible, and you might find it helpfull. It certainly didn't induce in me the feelings of nausea that other books of this kind have done.

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Success is an opportunity that everyone has the potential to achieve. It is built one block at a time, each block being a crucial principle that contributes to lifelong achievement in every area of life. When we combine these principles, we build the Pyramid of Success. Using wisdom and common sense, we will be challenged to become the best that we are capable of becoming.

• Sales Rank: #2554637 in Books
• Published on: 2006-05-15
• Released on: 2006-05-15
• Original language: Spanish
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.19" h x .39" w x 5.47" l, .44 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 186 pages

About the Author
John Wooden in his 40-year coaching career, his high school and college teams won more than 80 percent of their games. He and his wife, Nellie, had been married 53 years. He currently lives in Southern California. SPANISH BIO: John Wooden en su carrera de 40 anos como entrenador, sus equipos ganaron mas del 80 por ciento de sus juegos. Con su esposa Nellie, ha estado casado por 53 anos. Actualmente vive al sur de California.

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Javier Vega
Excellent condition..

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Thank you!
By Liz
It has hard to find this book in spanish, and thanks to you, we have it.

Thank you!

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Over the past thirty years, a new systemic conception of life has emerged at the forefront of science. New emphasis has been given to complexity, networks, and patterns of organisation, leading to a novel kind of 'systemic' thinking. This volume integrates the ideas, models, and theories underlying the systems view of life into a single coherent framework. Taking a broad sweep through history and across scientific disciplines, the authors examine the appearance of key concepts such as autopoiesis, dissipative structures, social networks, and a systemic understanding of evolution. The implications of the systems view of life for health care, management, and our global ecological and economic crises are also discussed. Written primarily for undergraduates, it is also essential reading for graduate students and researchers interested in understanding the new systemic conception of life and its implications for a broad range of professions - from economics and politics to medicine, psychology and law.

• Sales Rank: #122352 in Books
• Published on: 2014-06-09
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.72" h x .98" w x 6.85" l, 2.54 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 510 pages

Review
"Partly an enjoyable survey of exciting new developments in systems biology, valuable to any student of biology or science, and partly a bold blueprint for how we might preserve our future on Earth."
New Scientist

"A magisterial study of the scientific basis for an integrated worldview grounded in the wholeness that generations of one-eyed reductionists could not see. The authors succeed brilliantly!"
David W. Orr, Oberlin College

"... gives us a sound synthesis of the best science and theory on the connectedness of all living things, the dynamics of emergence and self-organization as conceived by Francisco Varela. This volume offers a profound framework for understanding our place on the planet, for better or worse. And if we apply the insights offered by Capra and Luisi, it will be for the better ... should be required reading for today's young, tomorrow's leaders, and anyone who cares about life on this planet."
Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and Ecological Intelligence

"What is life? What is a human being? How can new discoveries about nature and ourselves keep us from becoming the first self-endangered species? Capra and Luisi's dazzling synthesis explains how moving beyond mechanistic, linear, reductionist habits is revealing startling new answers to perennial questions of philosophy and practice. Sir Francis Bacon's goal of 'the enlargement of the bounds of Human Empire, to the effecting of all things possible' has put humanity in serious trouble. But today, rebuilding our thinking, language, and actions around Darwin, not Descartes, and around modern biology, not outmoded physics, creates rich new options. Driven by the co-evolution of business with civil society, these can build a fairer, healthier, cooler, safer world. The Systems View of Life is a lucid, wide-ranging guide to living maturely, kindly, and durably with each other and with other beings on the only home we have."
Amory B. Lovins, Rocky Mountain Institute

"... this book feels like a Rosetta stone for me, unlocking connections and roots of a panoply of different ideas and concepts. It starts walking us through the history of science - and how scientific models influenced most aspect of cultures ... This book pulls the big changes together and integrates them, across disciplines into a glorious big picture, for each field ... As I was reading the portion of the book covering the history of systems thinking ... I realized that I was suddenly feeling very excited, like I was in a movie, sitting on the edge of my seat ... This is what a great writer and a great book are supposed to do ... It has had a huge impact on my way of thinking about so many things. It doesn't matter what your area of work or interest is. This book is essential reading to face the future with eyes wide open."
Rob Kall, OpEdNews.com

"... a valuable overview of the discipline."
Stephen Lewis, The Biologist

About the Author
Fritjof Capra is a founding director of the Center for Ecoliteracy in Berkeley, California, and serves on the faculty of Schumacher College, Devon. He is a physicist and systems theorist, and has been engaged in a systematic examination of the philosophical and social implications of contemporary science for the past 35 years.

Pier Luigi Luisi is Professor in Biochemistry at the University of Rome 3. He started his career at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich (ETHZ) where he became full professor in Chemistry and initiated the interdisciplinary Cortona Weeks. His main research focuses on the experimental, theoretical and philosophical aspects of the origin of life and self-organisation of synthetic and natural systems.

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56 of 60 people found the following review helpful.
The Systems View of Life -- A Review for Professors and for Undergraduate and Graduate Students in the Human Sciences
By Brian Castellani, Complexity Scientist and Professor, Kent State University
As of 2014, there has been much written in the complexity sciences on the all-purpose topics of complex systems and networks and their related scientific methods - I am thinking here, for example, of Byrne and Callaghan's excellent "Complexity Theory and the Social Sciences" or Mitchell's "Complexity: A Guided Tour."

What really hasn't been written, however, is a cohesive or comprehensive review of the content (the actual empirical outcome) of this cutting-edge research - which, in almost every way imaginable, is creating an entirely new view of human life and the global ecosystem that sustains it.

Enter Capra and Luisi's new textbook "The Systems View of Life."

For those new to the complexity science literature (or professors thinking about adopting this book for class), one couldn't ask for a better writing partnership. Capra, a physicist by training, is world-renown for this twin books on systems and complexity science ("The Web of Life" and "The Hidden Connections"), as well as his provocative assessment - from a philosophy of science perspective - of the limits of conventional, mechanistic science and the need for a new, holistic, ecologically responsible systems science ("The Tao of Physics," "The Turning Point" and "The Science of Leonardo"). In turn, Luisi is an internationally recognized professor of biochemistry and complexity science, having done primary research into such core issues as cellular autopoiesis and synthetic biology. He is also well known for his in-depth academic books, as well as his two popular works, "The Emergence of Life" and "Mind and Life."

Divided into three parts, "The Systems View of Life" is a compendium of all-things systems thinking and complexity science:

Part 1 (sections 1 and 2) is devoted to the philosophy of science, focusing on the historical shift from mechanistic thinking (dominated by reductionism, Newtonian mechanics, social physics and a Cartesian view of life) to systems thinking (dominated by the holism, networks, nonlinear mechanics, global network society, and a complex systems view of life). Capra and Luisi are clear: mechanistic thinking is a victim of its own success, as it was so powerful in solving so many issues over the last hundred or so years that (now) it is simply assumed, almost by definition, that it can solve all current problems, which is wrong, as the problems of today, as Warren Weaver pointed out all the way back in 1948 (Science and Complexity), are complex systems problems.

For professors thinking about this textbook, Part1 is an important addition to the literature - here I am thinking of Hammond's "The Science of Synthesis" and Klir's "Facets of Systems Science" - as Capra and Luisi's chapters provide the historical backdrop missing from most introductions to the complexity sciences, helping students, as I already alluded to, understand why the sciences are shifting.

In Part 2 (the third section of the book), Capra and Luisi venture into entirely new territory, doing something (as I have already suggested in my opening remarks) yet to be done in the literature, let alone a textbook: they synthesize the empirical insights of the systems and complexity sciences into a new and cohesive view of life. As they state in their introduction, "We present a unified systemic vision that includes and integrates life's biological, cognitive, social, and ecological dimensions."

The accomplishment of this task cannot be underestimated, as it is significant and should have a lasting impact, demonstrating just how visionary the complexity sciences can be - but only if time is given to their study (I am also thinking of students here) and to collecting and connecting up their insights.

Such a synthesis requires, however, a bit more effort than just connecting the dots - even though Capra and Luisi humbly suggest that this is all they are doing. Instead, it requires a theoretical frame, which the individual empirical insights often lack.

For Capra and Luisi, the theoretical frame is a network-based view of life. Networks provide, literally, the links from one topic to the next in their book, in a sort of "scale-free approach to knowledge," where one moves freely from the human genome and human cognition to social organizations and cities to ecosystems and global society.

But, this is not where things end. For Capra and Luisi, these links must extend beyond theory and empirical synthesis to application and policy - to helping the world become a better place, to the moral culpability of science and to doing the right thing!

While not by any means unanimously embraced, there is a global morality associated with a significant segment of the systems and complexity science community, which goes by a variety of names, from deep ecology and ecofeminism to post-humanism and global civil society. Regardless of the term, the view is the same: we face, currently, as a global society, a significant number of complex systems problems, which can be better managed (or even solved) if the political, economic, scientific and public will to employ such a perspective exists! If not, these problems will most likely be our doom - or, less dramatically, they will result in increased global disparity and inequality and, ecologically speaking, a significantly degraded and decompensated planet.

And so, in the final section of the book - Part 3 - Capra and Luisi employ the complex systems view of life to make sense of and, in turn, address the current list of global social problems we, as a global society, face: from population growth and climate change to economic sustainability and the development of a global civil society.

Again, for a science textbook, this is new territory. Professors typically do not challenge students to think about the links between their science and the global world in which they live. But that is, nonetheless, where our immediate future resides: we need our students, as the generation that will inherit all of these problems, to have the tools necessary to address them, and in a way that leads to a sustainable level of economic, political, cultural, and spiritual/existential wellbeing for the greatest number of people possible! What more, in 500 pages or less, could a professor (or our students) want from a book devoted to making sense of the complex lives we currently live? And so, whether you are teaching introduction to sociology or macroeconomics, cognitive psychology or cultural anthropology, microbiology or philosophy, it doesn't matter; make this textbook part of your required reading list. Our future depends upon it.

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful.
Great systems overview, depends on your purpose, with some glitches
By Murray May
I read Capra's The Turning Point when it was originally published in the early 80s and thought it was a great book. The Systems View of Life is akin conceptually to this earlier book, but also adds various themes that were introduced in Capra's later book The Web of Life. In rating The Systems View book I would give it five stars as a textbook but four stars if one is looking for a readable book on paradigm shifts applying on multiple fronts and to the whole (as with The Turning Point). The Systems View is drier, as one might expect for a textbook. However, its sweep is wonderfully broad. In addition, it suffers in parts I think from a lack of deeper knowledge of the issues. There is uncritical acceptance of the Lester Brown optimistic line on wind farms (p. 417), when there is in fact considerable angst surrounding wind farms, including with landscape destruction, low frequency noise and associated health problems, and continuing community conflict. Likewise, when smart meters are mentioned as part of smart grids (p. 427), no mention is made of the considerable health concerns and community opposition to smart meters (on EMF and cost grounds). Prof. David Carpenter at the State University of New York is a public health physician who is expert in this field, and more on the topic can be obtained by searching the web for material on this. Overall though, the book's purpose in moving from a mechanistic to a holistic and ecological worldview is very well done.

30 of 33 people found the following review helpful.
An outstanding work. A true magnum opus
By Prof Warwick Fox
Fritjof Capra has been a consistently interesting and deservedly popular thinker for many years now. I have always been impressed by the clarity and economy with which he has been able to communicate complex ideas, often in considerable depth, to a general audience. Equally, I have always been impressed by the breadth of his intellectual interests and his rare ability to combine these wide-ranging interests into coherent and far-reaching syntheses.

Now, together with his co-author Pier Luigi Luisi, who has himself made significant contributions to the discussion of the emergence of life (see, e.g., Luisi's The Emergence of Life: From Chemical Origins to Synthetic Biology), Capra and Luisi have outdone themselves. Their 500 page book The Systems View of Life: A Unifying Vision (with many words per page, given its large-page format) is, purely and simply, a magnum opus, it really is. It surely represents the culminating statement of Capra and his co-author's work over several decades now on the development of a scientifically-informed unified vision of the world that incorporates and integrates the biological, ecological, cognitive, philosophical, social, political, and even the spiritual dimensions of life. The last time I read such an all-embracing, well-informed, and richly rewarding synthesis as this was when I read Charles Birch and John Cobb's The Liberation of Life: From the Cell to the Community (also from Cambridge University Press) - and that was published back in 1981!

If you want to understand the major cultural shift that we have been undergoing over the last several hundred years (right across the physical, life, and social sciences) from a mechanistic worldview to the emergence of what the authors term a 'systems' worldview - a worldview that sees the world around us in terms of networks, patterns, and complex, mutually interacting, living or life-like systems rather than in terms of discrete building blocks that interact in linear, sequential ways that are open to precise forms of prediction and control - then this is now THE book to read.

As the authors show, this shift in worldview has major implications for almost everything that ought to matter to us - from the very practical ways in which we need to attend to the manifold problems that are pressing in upon us in the ecological and socio-political realms to the ways in which we can find an approach to our inner, spiritual lives that is consistent with our best scientific understandings.

You get the idea. I cannot praise this book enough. Capra and Luisi have done us all a great service. I cannot see how anyone could spend even just a few hours with this book and not come away considerably the richer for it. Spend considerably longer with it and you will undoubtedly come away knowing a lot more about various areas of interest to you than you do now - not to mention more inspired to work for changes in directions that will enable us to sustain the web of life on this planet. Every critically-minded reader will find their own quibbles here and there of course, but c'mon ... the comprehensive breadth and depth of scholarship displayed in this book, all communicated clearly and economically (often with aid of pictures, inset boxes, and diagrams), is simply outstanding.

Warwick Fox - author of Toward a Transpersonal Ecology: Developing New Foundations for Environmentalism, A Theory of General Ethics: Human Relationships, Nature, and the Built Environment, and On Beautiful Days Such as This: A philosopher sings the blues and restores his soul in Greece.

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[Q211.Ebook] Download The Good Life Elsewhere, by Vladimir Lorchenkov

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Vladimir Lorchenkov tells the story of a group of villagers and their tragicomic efforts, against all odds and at any cost, to emigrate from Moldova, Europe's most impoverished nation, to Italy for work. In this uproarious tale, an Orthodox priest is deserted by his wife for an art-dealing atheist; a mechanic redesigns his tractor for travel by air and sea; thousands of villagers take to the road on a modern-day religious crusade to make it to the promised land of Italy; meanwhile, politicians remain politicians.

“Outstanding ... darkly hilarious." — The Wall Street Journal

"A simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking tale.”
— Publishers Weekly

“A touching and hilarious chronicle about the age-old European yearning for one more chance. A chance that may never come …”
— Gary Shteyngart

“Firmly in the great tradition of East European black humour and stands comparison with Hasek, Hrabal and Voinovich and will have you laughing – unless, of course, you are a sensitive soul.”
— The Modern Novel

“The Good Life Elsewhere revels in absurdity, right down to the over-the-top satisfying end … Good — though occasionally also very dark — absurdist fun, by a talented writer.”
— The Complete Review

“Original, both serious and comic, and, at times, tragic.”
— Profile Magazine

“Vladimir Lorchenkov is a highly talented imposter – painting a colorful, bright, and crazy life in a benighted post-Soviet corner of the world.”
— Vedomosti

“This is a bleeding, wild work, grotesque in every twist of its plot and in every character, written brightly, bitterly, humorously, and – paradoxically, as we’re dealing with the grotesque – honestly.”
— Krupa.ru

“Is it possible for lovely Italy to take the place of both hell and paradise, as well as one’s most cherished dream? Vladimir Lorchenkov explores this possibility – in vivid colors, with a pamphleteer’s spite, and a good-humored smile.”
— Literaturnaya Gazeta

• Sales Rank: #1637131 in Books
• Published on: 2014-02-18
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 7.90" h x .50" w x 5.20" l,
• Binding: Paperback
• 204 pages

Review
"A touching and hilarious chronicle about the age-old European yearning for one more chance. A chance that may never come ... " - Gary Shteyngart
�
"Vladimir Lorchenkov is a highly talented imposter - painting a colorful, bright, and crazy life in a benighted post-Soviet corner of the world." - Vedmosti
�
"This is a bleeding, wild work, grotesque in every twist of its plot and in every character, written brightly, bitterly, humorously, and ... �honestly." - Krupa.ru
�

“Outstanding ... darkly hilarious." — The Wall Street Journal

“A simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking tale.”
— Publishers Weekly

“A touching and hilarious chronicle about the age-old European yearning for one more chance. A chance that may never come …”
— Gary Shteyngart

“Firmly in the great tradition of East European black humour and stands comparison with Hasek, Hrabal and Voinovich and will have you laughing – unless, of course, you are a sensitive soul.”
— The Modern Novel

“The Good Life Elsewhere revels in absurdity, right down to the over-the-top satisfying end … Good — though occasionally also very dark — absurdist fun, by a talented writer.”
— The Complete Review

“Original, both serious and comic, and, at times, tragic.”
— Profile Magazine

“Vladimir Lorchenkov is a highly talented imposter – painting a colorful, bright, and crazy life in a benighted post-Soviet corner of the world.”
— Vedomosti

“This is a bleeding, wild work, grotesque in every twist of its plot and in every character, written brightly, bitterly, humorously, and – paradoxically, as we’re dealing with the grotesque – honestly.”
— Krupa.ru

“Is it possible for lovely Italy to take the place of both hell and paradise, as well as one’s most cherished dream? Vladimir Lorchenkov explores this possibility – in vivid colors, with a pamphleteer’s spite, and a good-humored smile.”
— Literaturnaya Gazeta

From the Publisher

“Vladimir Lorchenkov is a highly talented imposter – painting a colorful, bright, and crazy life in a benighted post-Soviet corner of the world.” – Vedmosti

.

“This is a bleeding, wild work, grotesque in every twist of its plot and in every character, written brightly, bitterly, humorously, and – paradoxically, as we’re dealing with the grotesque – honestly.” – Krupa.ru

“Is it possible for lovely Italy to take the place of both hell and paradise, as well as one’s most cherished dream? Vladimir Lorchenkov explores this possibility – in vivid colors, with a pamphleteer’s spite, and a good-humored smile.” – Literaturnaya Gazeta

About the Author
Vladimir Lorchenkov, writer and journalist, was born in Chisinau, Moldova, the son of a Soviet army officer, in 1979. In his childhood he traveled across the Soviet Union and other socialist countries, including Transbaikal, the Arctic, Byelorussia, Ukraine, Hungary, Mongolia. When his family returned to Moldova, he studied journalism and for ten years was in charge of crime coverage at a local newspaper. Lorchenkov is a laureate of the 2003 Debut Prize, one of Russia's highest honors given to young writers, the Russia Prize in 2008, and was short-listed for the National Bestseller Prize in 2012. Lorchenkov has published a dozen books, and his work has been translated into German, Italian, Norwegian, Finnish, Serbo-Croatian and Finnish. He is married with two children, and still lives in his hometown.

Ross Ufberg is a translator, writer, and a PhD Candidate at Columbia University in the Slavic Department. His work has appeared in various magazines and newspapers. His translation of the autobiography of Marek Hlasko, Beautiful Twentysomethings, was published in 2013.

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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Magic (un)realism
By Dan Harlow
Having spent years reading novels from Russia and Eastern Europe I've learned there is an odd, almost bi-polar lens people from this part of the world look at their own cultures through. In Mikl�s B�nffy's novel 'They Were Counted' we get a picture of Hungarians who, though fiercely proud of their heritage, are so caught up in pettiness, corruption, and tearing each other down that it's a wonder anything ever got done - and, in fact, nothing ever did get done. Jerzy Kosiński's 'The Painted Bird' (a book I detested) portrays all the Eastern European's as brutes and animals. In B�la Tarr's film 'S�t�ntang�' (another Hungarian) we get a portrait of a people continually drunk, living in the mud, poor, stupid, and easily taken advantage of by even the flimsiest pretexts. And in nearly all Russian novels, both classic and contemporary, there is always the underlying psychology of a people who are uncomfortable with themselves.

Alexander Herzen in 'My Past and Thoughts' explains this unease in comparing Russian insecurity to the rest of Europe: "They talk in Western Europe of our duplicity and wily cunning; they mistake the desire to show off and swagger a bit for the desire to deceive", about how the Russians feel insecure and inferior about their own peculiar culture vs Western Europe's supposed refinement."

In the book club which I took part in to read this book a comment was made about how someone felt the book was offensive, that people from that part of the world had too long been the butt of jokes. And while I agree continuing these stereotypes can only do harm, it is quite often the people from this part of the world who perpetuate it. Yet since I am not from Hungary or Moldova or Poland I can't ever hope to know what this strange neurosis is people have about themselves and their fellow countrymen (and women) that would continue to make them look at themselves as 'stupid' or 'lazy' or in general insecure about their place in the world.

Perhaps geography plays a role. Perhaps being crushed between prosperous Western Europe on one side and massive Russia on the other is a determining factor in one's cultural self-esteem. This is a part of the world that has always been used as a "buffer zone" between the West and Russia - the term "buffer zone", to me, seems far more offensive than any stereotype. And now that communism has fallen and this "buffer" region is responsible for its own fate, the people living here are perhaps more anxious than ever. This entire region seems to have always been defined (to outsiders, anyway) by the powers that crowd around it and so being left to do what they want seems to lead to major problems. Much of the book actually deals with Moldovans wanting to attach themselves to another regime, the EU.

Since I knew nothing of Moldova before reading this book I looked up what I could online and while it's not as bleak as Lorchenkov makes Moldova out to be, I can see why people might want to get the hell away; there are no real opportunities in Moldova. Anything that might have once existed in Moldova was dug up and carted off by the Soviets years ago leaving behind a lot of poor people and a fractured government unable to bring the people together.

For a book so funny, it's really awfully sad. This book leaves you with the impression that the people of Moldova have given up and only look elsewhere for help (the EU). There does not seem to be a sense of history or culture or any hope to tie people to their country. We learn nothing of what makes Moldova unique or beautiful or important, we only get a series of funny but sad and ever increasing outrageous plots to escape the sinking ship that is Moldova.

But is Lorchenkov actually making fun of Moldova? Is he actually saying the people of Moldova are stupid, dirt eating, sad-sacks?

Lorchenkov explores a more subtle theme in this book; he is interested in the spin and propaganda nations use on each other and on their own people. When two of the main characters have their rusty homemade pedal powered submarine blasted out of the water by a foreign Coast Guard, the newspapers make it seem as if a massive plot of Islamic extremists was thwarted on the high seas. When a crusade is fired up by the local priest and hundreds of thousands of people attempt to march to Italy for freedom and jobs, the European newspapers claim the people of Moldova have risen up and are enacting reforms from within. When things in this fictional Moldova can't get any worse, the government declares war on its own people because it's too weak to go to war with anyone else yet to the outside press this might be seen as the government tamping down dangerous rebels (which, in a way, they are since all they want to do is leave).

I suppose a lot of the reason why this subtext exists in the book is due to how the Soviets were constantly putting forth their own propaganda to counter western ideals even though everyone knew the Soviet propaganda was nonsense or, at best, a fairy tale or mythology. And this fairy tale quality exists all through the book - not in that there's a princess (well actually there sort of is) or a happy ending, but in the strange magic unrealism of the novel. Skylarks roost in people's mouths, a dead wife hangs from a tree for months with garlic drying around her neck, an entire village exists where everyone sells their internal organs, tractors can fly, and the President fakes his death in a plane crash on northern Italy.

This magic unrealism (I call it unreal because it seems to exist as comic sadness and not as something deeper such as in One Hundred Years of Solitude) goes a long way to help explain the temptation the people of this fictional Moldova (and perhaps even the real Moldova, too) have with joining the EU or escaping to Italy where they think they can get rich cleaning bathrooms or flipping pizzas. They've bought into their own brand of propaganda and they've left reality behind, they've left Moldova behind to neglect. When we get a couple of characters who beg their fellow countrymen to try and better their own lives, to work hard and make Moldova a better place, these characters are, in the end, killed.

I do wish the book had been a bit more serious, however. I feel as if the author pushed the comedy too far at the expense of gaining some real insight into Moldova. I also never felt like the book was as cohesive as it could be, partly because it's a rather short book that never spends much time exploring the many deeper issues floating just between the lines. Granted my own lack of cultural context is preventing me from understanding a lot of this book, but the author could have done more to bring me in and help me understand.

Still, I did enjoy the book for what it is and I think it helps explain some of the unease people from this part of the world tend to look at their own culture with. These are people who do want to better their lives but are prevented from doing so by their neighbors and, in the end, by themselves.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
This book ought to be tragic - but it's not ...
By Matthew M. Howell
This book ought to be tragic - but it's not. It's not because you don't have time to feel the characters' pain. Whether they are sticking each other with pitchforks, being (possibly) mistaken for islamic terrorists and bombed by the navy, getting shot in the back while escaping or being burned at the stake by their fellow citizens, the tragedies come so fast that you don't really have time to feel much pity for them. Besides, after every catastrophe they get drunk, dust themselves off, and try again - unless they are dead.

What's most remarkable about these characters is that none of them have time to live where they are. They can only devise more and more complicated ways to escape to Western Europe. In the end "Italy" becomes more of a metaphysical goal for them - a state of grace - a place of security, such that some characters even suggest they could make "Italy" in Moldova. But given all the tragedy in the book, you can probably guess how that turns out.

Casual drunken brutality, daily despair, and ever-recurring hope, mixed with an occasional occurrence of magic - that's Moldova in this book.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
really solid read
By Max
one of the funniest books i've read in years. wicked humor. like joseph heller and kurt vonnegut. definitely worth checking out.

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• Sales Rank: #2625472 in Books
• Published on: 1600
• Binding: Paperback

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Quando Gordon Ramsay inaugurou seu primeiro restaurante, sabia que aquele era apenas o inicio de uma vida gastronomica. Em 'Brincando com Fogo', o leitor tera a oportunidade de conhecer a atuacao deste Chef. Sem abandonar seu estilo, o apresentador dos programas de teve 'Hell's Kitchen' e 'Kitchen Nightmares', busca expor seus segredos para o sucesso. Gordon narra sua trajetoria profissional desde o inicio como Chef no Aubergine a expansao de sua rede de restaurantes pelo mundo.

• Published on: 2010-01-01
• Dimensions: .79" h x 6.06" w x 8.98" l,
• Binding: Paperback

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